I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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