Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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