): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
