Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
