I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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