she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
