"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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