I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
