He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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