Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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