she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
