There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize