apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
