I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
