why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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