Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sobbing to NWA
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
