gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
