Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
