Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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