This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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