it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
