dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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