People with herpes should wear stickers.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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