Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
