Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
