How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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