Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
