So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
