He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
