I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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