I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
