You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize