i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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