Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
