OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
