I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
