and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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