every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
