A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's rum buckets o'clock
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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