i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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