I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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