so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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