I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
