we're chasing vodka with high fives
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
