So drunk its hurt
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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