he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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