Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
