Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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