I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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