I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
