im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize