THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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