Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
