it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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