It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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