yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just google imaged poop.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
