I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
