If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
