He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
