if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
