We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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