If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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