God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
