I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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