i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
