just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
