There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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