she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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