also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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