brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize