lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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